Back from the Living Dead....

Well, it's day eleven.

The worst thing now is my emotional state. It is up and down, shall we say.

That and the cold. No matter what the central heating does, or what coat I put on, or duvet I get under; I am still always very cold.

Then there's my legs. Addicts often complain of "restless legs" when coming off, and I have experienced that, especially off Heroin, less so Methadone. However, with me the real bitch has always been, and is now, the ache and pain in my legs, or for that matter all over, but mostly my legs.

It is as if every mile I've walked on them whilst "under the influnce", and hence didn't feel that much at the time; well, I am feeling them all now! (Those of you that know me will also surely know, that adds up to quite a few miles!)

Oh yeah, and the odd cravings. These have calmed right down now compared to before, but I still always wake up with them. I think it is called "Psychosomatic".

My appetite's coming back though, as is the sleep (finally!).

I guess the trick to dealing with any and all of this is to be aware of it, know it for what it is, and keep breathing....in.....and.....out....

*******

I have to say though, in all seriousness, that meditation seems to be the key to the kind of inner calm that I've been hungering after all my life.....

......and I fully expect that if I stick with it, and get more practised at it, that the eventual rewards, with regards "expanding my mind" will turn out to be worth the effort and the time it cost.

*******

Of course, if you'd rather not fuck about with all that crap, and don't much care what misery you cause in your life, or what pain you suffer; then as an ADULT, responsible for your own actions and consequences..... hey drop some pills and speed, have a trip or six, suck on a crack pipe, shove a spike in your arm; whatever floats your boat.

Just don't say I never warned you!



Love Courage and Strength to you all,

A