Back from the Living Dead…

 (Belief?)

 With much gratitude and admiration to Nassim Haramein

Some of you will already know this about me, some of you may not. One or two of you may be shocked to learn it. Many of you won’t be.

I used to call myself, many years ago, a “Born Again Christian”. I do so no longer, and have not for some time. I abandoned Christianity, as I did all organised, dogmatic belief systems a long time ago.

However, I have found myself revisiting that place in my consciousness recently, re-examining those beliefs as well as the experiences that lead me to them.

I still have beliefs about all manner of things including Christ, we all do. Even the most hard line atheist (like Darwin’s Rottweiler for instance) has a belief system within themselves. It is unavoidable. It is a part of what it means to be human, to believe stuff.

In recent years I have tended to shy away from beliefs and search in earnest for knowledge instead, and yet this search for Gnosis has brought me back full circle to the matter of belief.

I remember reading one of the Carlos Castaneda books years ago, I forget which one it was, where he quoted Don Juan as saying something along the lines of “…there is no world at large….there is only your description of it…” or words to that effect.

This is something I have come to believe, and also am now reaching a place where I feel I can start to consider it Gnosis.

Or at least I believe so! ;-)

What we think of as “reality” is not real at all! It is all simply a projection of Creative and Wilful Imagination; or Pure Consciousness. It is that Pure Consciousness, of which we are all a part, which is the only True Reality. Everything else we see, touch, smell, taste, hear and feel is simply an Imagined projection emanating from that True Reality, or Prime Mind as I prefer to call it. You may be more comfortable with the term God, or Allah or the phrase Quantum Flux Field or whatever it is all those clever types are calling it these days!

Okay, “faith!” I hear you cry. “Religious claptrap” I sense you thinking. “What a boring old Holy Joe he’s turned out to be, again” I believe some of you will say to each other (if not to me!) But if that is your response then I ask you, respectfully, to re-examine and re-evaluate what I am saying. Not just on this post, but on this blog as a whole.

I am not in the slightest bit bothered personally, either or any way, by what anyone else thinks or believes. That is up to them, not me. As it is up to me, not them, what I think or believe. As it is up to me, not them, what I do or do not do. As a sentient being who is not a zombie I could have it no other way!

As Mr Crowley so wonderfully and poetically put it “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law; love is the law, love under will”.

(Now let me just say about that, if the above quote makes no sense to you no matter how long you stare at it, or how hard you think about it then my advice is not to bother studying Crowley’s life or work. This is the most obvious and manifest truth the man ever uttered, and if you cannot wrap your head around it then nothing else he ever said or did will help you much, in fact in will probably serve only to confuse you. With regard to Mr Crowley I can be sure of only one thing; he was a damn sight cleverer than me!)

There is a paradox here though, one I am working out slowly for myself.

Because although yes I understand now that all that energy I used to expend trying to convince people to see things MY WAY was really all about my ego and my fear of being wrong or of being thought of as stupid; not Truth, not Love. Not really. However, it surely is beholden upon anyone who has found a powerful and empowering Truth within themselves to offer it for sharing with the world, is it not? (Perhaps some of you disagree?) Well, yes and no I think. Balance is the key word here, and it is a concept I struggle with naturally. I am a very extreme person. I do not do things half heartedly if my heart is in them at all. If my heart isn’t in them, then I don’t do them, at all!

Yet what I am coming to realise is the truth in the old words of the Apostle John “…perfect love casts out fear…” The key word for me here is “fear”.

All my life I have, like everyone who admits it or doesn’t, been soaked with and dripping fear everywhere. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of pain and suffering and yes ultimately fear of death.

But hang on….why fear these things?

Are they not inevitable?

Am I really so flawless and perfect as to realistically expect to go through life without experiencing rejection, without failing in my efforts to succeed, without being exposed for the absurd hypocrite that I am, without feeling pain, without dying?

This is nonsense. These things are unavoidable. You may well consider yourself capable of dodging them if you like, and if you really do believe yourself to be so competent and extra-ordinary then I certainly won’t waste much energy trying to educate you! For me however the truth is all too clear…..

….I am absurdly lacking in any Real perceptive powers, and life, or “reality”, is a wonderful and infinite mystery far above and beyond the comprehensive abilities of my little thought conditioned and drug damaged brain to grasp hold of and understand. I “know” I am loved. I “know” I can affect “reality” for myself and others by loving them also, as I am loved. This is no airy fairy vague notion of pink fluffy love and pillow talk.

No. This is Love. The kind that accepts rejection, accepts failure, accepts suffering, pain and yes, even death itself as inevitable; yet goes on Loving all the same.

Is it belief? Is it Gnosis?

Well, I guess only time will tell us the answer to that.

Love, Courage and Strength to you all,

A