Happy New Year for 2013 Everyone!

Happy new year everyone, let us all resolve to make it our best year yet!

I found this old poem among my many files, I wrote it in...well, I think you can work that out for yourself? It made me chuckle, and I publish it here in honour and salute to anyone who is disappointed that the world did not end this year. Never mind, you come up with another date for the apocolypse and I will bet you anything you like that it won't happen.

:-)



Maybe This World Will End

(December 31^st 1999)

Maybe this world will end,

This time next year,

Maybe we start a whole new trend,

That does not seem so queer.

Maybe ET is watching,

With awe inspired fear,

Maybe sin is unwaged,

And pleasure not so dear.

Maybe I could be famous,

For doing nothing much,

Maybe I am not evil,

For loving evils touch,

Maybe the beast is Saddam,

Clinton, Yeltsin or Blair,

Maybe this world will end,

This time next year.

Though maybe not,

I hear the cry.

We could do a lot,

If we all tried.

Yes maybe not,

These destined woes,

Don't have to be,

Eternal foes.

Perhaps we'll find a method,

To dry Earth's long cried tears,

Perhaps the world won't end,

This time next year?

Back from the Living Dead…

 (Belief?)

 With much gratitude and admiration to Nassim Haramein

Some of you will already know this about me, some of you may not. One or two of you may be shocked to learn it. Many of you won’t be.

I used to call myself, many years ago, a “Born Again Christian”. I do so no longer, and have not for some time. I abandoned Christianity, as I did all organised, dogmatic belief systems a long time ago.

However, I have found myself revisiting that place in my consciousness recently, re-examining those beliefs as well as the experiences that lead me to them.

I still have beliefs about all manner of things including Christ, we all do. Even the most hard line atheist (like Darwin’s Rottweiler for instance) has a belief system within themselves. It is unavoidable. It is a part of what it means to be human, to believe stuff.

In recent years I have tended to shy away from beliefs and search in earnest for knowledge instead, and yet this search for Gnosis has brought me back full circle to the matter of belief.

I remember reading one of the Carlos Castaneda books years ago, I forget which one it was, where he quoted Don Juan as saying something along the lines of “…there is no world at large….there is only your description of it…” or words to that effect.

This is something I have come to believe, and also am now reaching a place where I feel I can start to consider it Gnosis.

Or at least I believe so! ;-)

What we think of as “reality” is not real at all! It is all simply a projection of Creative and Wilful Imagination; or Pure Consciousness. It is that Pure Consciousness, of which we are all a part, which is the only True Reality. Everything else we see, touch, smell, taste, hear and feel is simply an Imagined projection emanating from that True Reality, or Prime Mind as I prefer to call it. You may be more comfortable with the term God, or Allah or the phrase Quantum Flux Field or whatever it is all those clever types are calling it these days!

Okay, “faith!” I hear you cry. “Religious claptrap” I sense you thinking. “What a boring old Holy Joe he’s turned out to be, again” I believe some of you will say to each other (if not to me!) But if that is your response then I ask you, respectfully, to re-examine and re-evaluate what I am saying. Not just on this post, but on this blog as a whole.

I am not in the slightest bit bothered personally, either or any way, by what anyone else thinks or believes. That is up to them, not me. As it is up to me, not them, what I think or believe. As it is up to me, not them, what I do or do not do. As a sentient being who is not a zombie I could have it no other way!

As Mr Crowley so wonderfully and poetically put it “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law; love is the law, love under will”.

(Now let me just say about that, if the above quote makes no sense to you no matter how long you stare at it, or how hard you think about it then my advice is not to bother studying Crowley’s life or work. This is the most obvious and manifest truth the man ever uttered, and if you cannot wrap your head around it then nothing else he ever said or did will help you much, in fact in will probably serve only to confuse you. With regard to Mr Crowley I can be sure of only one thing; he was a damn sight cleverer than me!)

There is a paradox here though, one I am working out slowly for myself.

Because although yes I understand now that all that energy I used to expend trying to convince people to see things MY WAY was really all about my ego and my fear of being wrong or of being thought of as stupid; not Truth, not Love. Not really. However, it surely is beholden upon anyone who has found a powerful and empowering Truth within themselves to offer it for sharing with the world, is it not? (Perhaps some of you disagree?) Well, yes and no I think. Balance is the key word here, and it is a concept I struggle with naturally. I am a very extreme person. I do not do things half heartedly if my heart is in them at all. If my heart isn’t in them, then I don’t do them, at all!

Yet what I am coming to realise is the truth in the old words of the Apostle John “…perfect love casts out fear…” The key word for me here is “fear”.

All my life I have, like everyone who admits it or doesn’t, been soaked with and dripping fear everywhere. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of pain and suffering and yes ultimately fear of death.

But hang on….why fear these things?

Are they not inevitable?

Am I really so flawless and perfect as to realistically expect to go through life without experiencing rejection, without failing in my efforts to succeed, without being exposed for the absurd hypocrite that I am, without feeling pain, without dying?

This is nonsense. These things are unavoidable. You may well consider yourself capable of dodging them if you like, and if you really do believe yourself to be so competent and extra-ordinary then I certainly won’t waste much energy trying to educate you! For me however the truth is all too clear…..

….I am absurdly lacking in any Real perceptive powers, and life, or “reality”, is a wonderful and infinite mystery far above and beyond the comprehensive abilities of my little thought conditioned and drug damaged brain to grasp hold of and understand. I “know” I am loved. I “know” I can affect “reality” for myself and others by loving them also, as I am loved. This is no airy fairy vague notion of pink fluffy love and pillow talk.

No. This is Love. The kind that accepts rejection, accepts failure, accepts suffering, pain and yes, even death itself as inevitable; yet goes on Loving all the same.

Is it belief? Is it Gnosis?

Well, I guess only time will tell us the answer to that.

Love, Courage and Strength to you all,

A

Another bit of rhyming irrational nonsense!

The Last Stand.

You shall know when the time comes,

The dawning of our new era,

A time when we will leave our homes,

Be forced to face our inner fear,

As storms of hate and poverty,

Gather and burst upon our lands,

Then we will war with savage breeds,

We will learn the power in our hands.

Then to triumph we shall go,

Or death in effort brave and sure,

The fruits of love and peace will show,

If we victor in our final war,

For many years we've been assailed,

By the evil of our enemy,

Let not the faith of your hearts fail,

But fight the fight to keep life free.

Darkness overcomes this world,

Though many lights are shining on,

Above the noise of fear is heard,

The cry of justice not yet forgotten,

We will stand with honest souls,

We will resist this evil dark,

Be ready you who hear the calls,

To Ancient Wisdom Hark!

The wild ones can smell the fear,

Nature groans in painful throes,

For these are now the foretold years,

When new age comes and old ways go,

Our part to play is small or large,

Each crucial to the Divine Whole,

We are the Keepers, Earth our Charge,

We must protect her with our soul.

Our enemies are Greed and Pride,

No sword or gun will conquer them,

We must defeat our selfish side,

So purified we live again,

With art, wisdom, creative powers,

We will build again our Race,

 With faith and strength we'll build our towers,

 Of Freedom, Justice, Love, and Grace.

(From “The Legends of Durrik and Egralamant” 1992)

Back from the Living Dead...

(A Personal Revelation)

Psychoactive experiences are by no means safe. They should not be embarked upon when one is too young for they disturb the natural development of ones mind and spirit (or ones ego and super ego if you prefer!)Nor are they a wise habit to fall into, indulging in them for their own sake. However, if the seeker, or user, is confident of the personal integrity of their own motives, if they are aware of the inherent dangers involved and fully prepared to face them head on, blaming nobody but themselves for any subsequent consequences and finally if they are not acting out of any kind of dependence on the substance in question, then exploratory “Psy A E's” can be used as a valid and fruitful facet of their own magical adventure and journey of self discovery. However, it is important for the neophyte to remember that magic is as alive and vital in the world of matter as it is in the world of mind. There is nothing more intrinsically magical than a physical reality for all physical realities are the achieved ambitions, or realised visions, of magical creativity. Magical creativity is the offspring of motivation (desire, will etc.) coupled with vision (idea, concept etc.). Therefore, all physical realities begin in an embryonic state of existence as purely magical, that is to say imagined, concepts. The process of transformation from an imagined concept to a physical reality is described in the “Lightning Flash” of the development of consciousness portrayed and experienced in the Kabbalic tradition of the Tree of Life.

My experience has been such that I have found myself believing that between Vision and Will is a symbiotic relationship, in a way a kind of metaphysical constant motion machine. The power generated by this relationship differs for each individual but is present in all of us to some degree, and as we go through life, experiencing our own ideas and forming our own desires, this generated power of “Magical Creativity” builds up until such a time as it reaches something like a critical mass. At this point it must be dissipated, and I say “must” because there are no exceptions, like gravity must attract! Now I find that there are as many ways of dissipating this energy as there are human activities. Ideally the resultant actions that we use to disperse our personal energy will be positive ones, that is to say truly creative. However, this can only really be achieved if we have arrived at a state of Pure Consciousness, a state where our Will and our Vision are united in their intent to be effective as a means, however slight, of improving the state of being human, that is to say developing human consciousness and expanding human awareness. By this we ultimately encourage a mind set, or cultural environment, that encourages higher levels of tolerance and of co-operation, better understanding of our fellow human beings whatever their condition or beliefs and ultimately more compassion for the suffering of life in all of it's manifest forms. Problems arise with our behaviour if we are in any way repressed from expressing or dispersing our own “Magical Creativity”.

A terrible and ever present danger to those people who are creatively highly developed, (or to put it another way have a highly active imagination, a powerful internal life) is the tendency to overlook the importance of physical realities and to see Vision as an end in itself, missing the need for action engaged by Will. These individuals (of which I surely am one) can become caught in a cycle of feeding their own Magical Creativity back into the process of imagining, failing to engage the Will  and thus intensifying their own experience of their imagined reality. This leads to an unbalance in their own psycho-spiritual self and will eventually force them to release this build up of intense Magical Creative Power in dangerous and reckless ways that will be harmful to themselves and often to those around them. The danger of relying too heavily on psychoactive experiences is that it encourages this destructive cycle, that is to say it creates an environment where this cycle is more probable and more likely to become a dangerous reality, and only the most highly developed of individuals can avoid this. I am not such an individual!

In my opinion and experience the world is full of people, like myself, who would have made powerful magicians had they not fallen into this trap by being distracted early in their journey by the wonders and pleasures of psychoactive experiences.

So, my point is…?

Please be aware of the dangers, and look after your own mind!

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

A

Back from the Living Dead…

Hello my friends. I do hope you all had a great time these last few days!

I admit I do tend towards cynicism when it comes to Christmas these days. I am trying not to, but I do. The whole rampant festival of commercialism and greed that we seem to get subjected to earlier every year, along with the financial and social pressure it can put some folk under (especially those with young families) does conspire at times to annoy me.

However, that said I do believe that all in all it is a good thing that for at least one month a year we all remember to try to be pleasant to each other!

I recall, vauguely, the years I spent homeless, living in hostels or sofa surfing, over the Yule Tide. They really only stick in my mind because of the extra money I expected, and always made, over those couple of weeks in December whilst begging here on the streets of Leicester, or elsewhere. There is not much else about those times that stick in my mind to be honest, at least not clearly.

Easy money, hard drugs, soft women…

…tough old life…..kind of.

Because you see as an addict you do not really get a holiday, ever.

It is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week, 365 day a year occupation.

Your boss is very demanding, taking every penny you earn in stoppages and forgiving nothing!

However, I do not want to talk about drug addiction today, at least not directly.

My subject of choice today is that other bugbear of mine; homelessness.

Because yes it is true that from about the 10^th until the 30^th of this magical and wonderful month folk do seem to notice the homeless more than usual. This is great in so far as it goes, and if you allowed the spirit of Saint Nick to enter you this year and gave a few more pounds away, or bought one or two more Big Issues perhaps, than you normally would then good on you, nice one.

 I know it was appreciated.

However, let us not forget that the same homeless, desperate, lonely, needy and lost people are always with us.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

And resolving that big issue should really be a full-time occupation for all our minds!

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

Absolutely....I'm in....are you?

http://www.weboflove.org/interconnectedness

The Hoppit.

I went to watch The Hobbit the other night. It was a fun film and no mistake, and I am looking forward to part two and seeing more of Smaug the Magnificent! (Although I do get why some of the purists didn't like it, but hey, it is a story for children okay?)

*****

It got me thinking though (as most things are prone to do) about my own life and situation, and I saw some very clear parallels between me and Bilbo Baggins.

A bumbling fool on an adventure that apparently chose him, not the other way round; and while being alone, frightened and helpless in a very dark place, with monsters on every side, this little person of no consequence to the bigger picture found something powerful and magical. Of course he (like myself) had very little understanding of just what is was he had stumbled upon. However, he used it, it gave him a measure of genuine power, it changed him, and it almost consumed him. It certainly left him older than his natural years and as he put it himself “...I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter that has been scraped over too much bread...”

But then I started to think on the outcome of all this. What happened in the bigger picture?

Bilbo clearly had the love and support of bigger and wiser folk (Gandalf and the Elves for instance), and with this guiding influence, decided to leave the Ring behind to his heir, to the next generation of Shire Folk. As a result of this the matter of the One Ring became known to the Great and Good in Middle Earth. A decision was made during the Council of the Wise.

That “next generation” (Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin) were all much more special, or intelligent, or courageous than Bilbo, even the one's who didn't know it of themselves! As a result of all of this they went on, each in their own special way, to make great changes to Middle Earth and to finally defeat the Dark Lord Sauron!

******

Well, I don't know what the future is going to hold, but it was me that got myself into this mess and it is, I feel, to some extent at least down to me to try to clear this mess up. However, like Bilbo I am old now, before my natural time. I am not all that special (except to a few people), I am not all that clever. I understand very little really. And yes, I do feel stretched thin, “like butter that's been scraped over too much bread”! However, I have found something magical and powerful, and I did stumble on it whilst on an adventure, that I suspect was not entirely of my choosing, and in a very dark and frightening place, surrounded by bigger, scarier, and more violent creatures than I.

*******

So what will I do with this powerful and magical thing I have found?

Well, my hope is that I will get some guidance from the Councils of the Wise, and therefore be enabled to pass it on to our future generations of little people.

Maybe, just maybe, they can then go on to overcome the evils in this world and show everybody and everything just how special, courageous and resilient to corrupting influences they really are.

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

A

Back from the Living Dead...

A very happy and joyous Solstice to you all!

What exciting and vibrant times we are living in, don't you think?

Or is it still for you a very dark and troubling time we are living through? If it is then you have my heartfelt empathy, because I know full well what that is like.

Everywhere you look is darkness, despair, doom and gloom.

Consider for a moment though, if you will humour me, that maybe somebody, somewhere, doesn't want you to feel happy, and positive and powerful. That somebody, somewhere hates you, and wants to keep you down and depressed; wants you to believe that there is nothing you can do about anything. Which, of course, is a lie!

If that was the case, and I did say "if", then what would you do about it?

Pick up a gun and go find them and shoot them dead? You'd never get close!

Take the frustration and rage it inspires in you and inflict it on anyone who so much as looks your way? You'd be playing into "their" hands, spreading the hate they intended all along for you to spread.

Or keep your head down, looking at the pavement, or your feet, and never daring to rock the boat in-case "they" decide to hurt you? What is it that frightens you so much?

Do you not know that You are indestructable?

Or....would you decide to beat them?

Would you say no to "them" and "their" hate and "their" unjust laws? Would you stand up straight and look the evil in the eye and let it know that you are NOT dead yet.

You are NOT a zombie!

If you do then be sure of this.

You cannot beat "them" (whoever "they" may be) at their own game.

"They" hold all the aces after all. The deck has been rigged from the start, and the dealer is a friend of "theirs".

No. If they attack you with hate, you need to respond with love. If they attack you with fear, respond with courage. If they attack you with violence, respond with peace. If they attack you with doubt and confusion, respond with certainty and simplicity.

And whatever else you do or don't do this wonderful time of year, for Gods sake, for my sake and for your sake, for everyone’s sake; Look Up!

For there is nothing of any real interest on the pavement, and your feet will always be there to look at, if that's your thing.

So, Look UP!

Every eye to the sky!

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

A

The Strength of Acceptance

This is what I never understood until very recently.

How very powerful it is when one learns true acceptance.

Acceptance of who you are yourself,

Or have ever been,

And will become.

Acceptance of who everyone else is,

Or has ever been,

And will become.....

*****

Acceptance of the crimes committed by and against you,

And the level of responsability and pain you share for this.

Acceptance of the World, for what It is, and what It Will Become...

...whatever you do or do not do,

...and as with The Cosmos,

...as with The Infinite,

...as with The Inevitable.

******

Acceptance of what you cannot avoid.

For be sure,

If you cannot avoid It,

Then It,

Exists.

What is more,

It does so for a Reason!

*******

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

A

Back from the Living Dead...

 

 

Okay, so this will sound crazy.

 

I admit all personal experience is subjective, as is the very notion of "crazy", but we will put a pin in that for now.

 

 

Anyway, I already know I am crazy!

 

As the Seal song says "we are never gonna survive all this, unless we get a little bit....crazy."

 

So to be brutally honest it matters little to me in any pragmatic sense whether you think I am crazy or not. I want to survive, so crazy I shall be!

 

If you believe me or not won't affect my sleep any.

 

I do not seek your appproval, only your respect.

 

I am not on this Earth to work out Your salvation, only Mine.

 

However, I really wanted to share this experince with you all, because it has shook me very profoundly.

 

 

My PC is on the blink.

 

It could be when the monitor "fell" on it during the night (Thanks cat!).

 

Or it could be the elephant in the room falling on it everyday, but we won't talk about that.

 

 

Last night I got in quite late for me after having gone to watch "The Hobbit" with a friend (more on that in a future post), I tried to boot up and it wouldn't. Wouldn't get past the POST. I fiddled with it(knowing as I do a little bit about IT), cleaned it and tried again....nothing. Dead.

 

This morning I tried again, twice. Nothing. Dead.

 

Yet here I am, online, blogging away on my computer again. How so?

 

You may well ask......

 

......I took advantage of the piece and quiet, the lack of distractions, the opportunity. I lit a candle. I spent about...15....20...minutes in as deep a meditation as I could allow myself without getting overwhelmed by sensation (some of you will know what I am talking about here.) I then channelled that energy into my PC as I switched it on......

 

......at first I didn't think it had worked as the HDD didn't make any of it's usual noises.

 

In fact it is currently running better and quieter than it has for a while!?

 

I don't suppose it will last, after all, my PC is on the blink.

 

That is the "reality" in front of me.

 

 

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

 

A