Back from the Living Dead…

Hello my friends. I do hope you all had a great time these last few days!

I admit I do tend towards cynicism when it comes to Christmas these days. I am trying not to, but I do. The whole rampant festival of commercialism and greed that we seem to get subjected to earlier every year, along with the financial and social pressure it can put some folk under (especially those with young families) does conspire at times to annoy me.

However, that said I do believe that all in all it is a good thing that for at least one month a year we all remember to try to be pleasant to each other!

I recall, vauguely, the years I spent homeless, living in hostels or sofa surfing, over the Yule Tide. They really only stick in my mind because of the extra money I expected, and always made, over those couple of weeks in December whilst begging here on the streets of Leicester, or elsewhere. There is not much else about those times that stick in my mind to be honest, at least not clearly.

Easy money, hard drugs, soft women…

…tough old life…..kind of.

Because you see as an addict you do not really get a holiday, ever.

It is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week, 365 day a year occupation.

Your boss is very demanding, taking every penny you earn in stoppages and forgiving nothing!

However, I do not want to talk about drug addiction today, at least not directly.

My subject of choice today is that other bugbear of mine; homelessness.

Because yes it is true that from about the 10^th until the 30^th of this magical and wonderful month folk do seem to notice the homeless more than usual. This is great in so far as it goes, and if you allowed the spirit of Saint Nick to enter you this year and gave a few more pounds away, or bought one or two more Big Issues perhaps, than you normally would then good on you, nice one.

 I know it was appreciated.

However, let us not forget that the same homeless, desperate, lonely, needy and lost people are always with us.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

And resolving that big issue should really be a full-time occupation for all our minds!

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

Absolutely....I'm in....are you?

http://www.weboflove.org/interconnectedness

The Hoppit.

I went to watch The Hobbit the other night. It was a fun film and no mistake, and I am looking forward to part two and seeing more of Smaug the Magnificent! (Although I do get why some of the purists didn't like it, but hey, it is a story for children okay?)

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It got me thinking though (as most things are prone to do) about my own life and situation, and I saw some very clear parallels between me and Bilbo Baggins.

A bumbling fool on an adventure that apparently chose him, not the other way round; and while being alone, frightened and helpless in a very dark place, with monsters on every side, this little person of no consequence to the bigger picture found something powerful and magical. Of course he (like myself) had very little understanding of just what is was he had stumbled upon. However, he used it, it gave him a measure of genuine power, it changed him, and it almost consumed him. It certainly left him older than his natural years and as he put it himself “...I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter that has been scraped over too much bread...”

But then I started to think on the outcome of all this. What happened in the bigger picture?

Bilbo clearly had the love and support of bigger and wiser folk (Gandalf and the Elves for instance), and with this guiding influence, decided to leave the Ring behind to his heir, to the next generation of Shire Folk. As a result of this the matter of the One Ring became known to the Great and Good in Middle Earth. A decision was made during the Council of the Wise.

That “next generation” (Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin) were all much more special, or intelligent, or courageous than Bilbo, even the one's who didn't know it of themselves! As a result of all of this they went on, each in their own special way, to make great changes to Middle Earth and to finally defeat the Dark Lord Sauron!

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Well, I don't know what the future is going to hold, but it was me that got myself into this mess and it is, I feel, to some extent at least down to me to try to clear this mess up. However, like Bilbo I am old now, before my natural time. I am not all that special (except to a few people), I am not all that clever. I understand very little really. And yes, I do feel stretched thin, “like butter that's been scraped over too much bread”! However, I have found something magical and powerful, and I did stumble on it whilst on an adventure, that I suspect was not entirely of my choosing, and in a very dark and frightening place, surrounded by bigger, scarier, and more violent creatures than I.

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So what will I do with this powerful and magical thing I have found?

Well, my hope is that I will get some guidance from the Councils of the Wise, and therefore be enabled to pass it on to our future generations of little people.

Maybe, just maybe, they can then go on to overcome the evils in this world and show everybody and everything just how special, courageous and resilient to corrupting influences they really are.

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

A

Back from the Living Dead...

A very happy and joyous Solstice to you all!

What exciting and vibrant times we are living in, don't you think?

Or is it still for you a very dark and troubling time we are living through? If it is then you have my heartfelt empathy, because I know full well what that is like.

Everywhere you look is darkness, despair, doom and gloom.

Consider for a moment though, if you will humour me, that maybe somebody, somewhere, doesn't want you to feel happy, and positive and powerful. That somebody, somewhere hates you, and wants to keep you down and depressed; wants you to believe that there is nothing you can do about anything. Which, of course, is a lie!

If that was the case, and I did say "if", then what would you do about it?

Pick up a gun and go find them and shoot them dead? You'd never get close!

Take the frustration and rage it inspires in you and inflict it on anyone who so much as looks your way? You'd be playing into "their" hands, spreading the hate they intended all along for you to spread.

Or keep your head down, looking at the pavement, or your feet, and never daring to rock the boat in-case "they" decide to hurt you? What is it that frightens you so much?

Do you not know that You are indestructable?

Or....would you decide to beat them?

Would you say no to "them" and "their" hate and "their" unjust laws? Would you stand up straight and look the evil in the eye and let it know that you are NOT dead yet.

You are NOT a zombie!

If you do then be sure of this.

You cannot beat "them" (whoever "they" may be) at their own game.

"They" hold all the aces after all. The deck has been rigged from the start, and the dealer is a friend of "theirs".

No. If they attack you with hate, you need to respond with love. If they attack you with fear, respond with courage. If they attack you with violence, respond with peace. If they attack you with doubt and confusion, respond with certainty and simplicity.

And whatever else you do or don't do this wonderful time of year, for Gods sake, for my sake and for your sake, for everyone’s sake; Look Up!

For there is nothing of any real interest on the pavement, and your feet will always be there to look at, if that's your thing.

So, Look UP!

Every eye to the sky!

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

A

The Strength of Acceptance

This is what I never understood until very recently.

How very powerful it is when one learns true acceptance.

Acceptance of who you are yourself,

Or have ever been,

And will become.

Acceptance of who everyone else is,

Or has ever been,

And will become.....

*****

Acceptance of the crimes committed by and against you,

And the level of responsability and pain you share for this.

Acceptance of the World, for what It is, and what It Will Become...

...whatever you do or do not do,

...and as with The Cosmos,

...as with The Infinite,

...as with The Inevitable.

******

Acceptance of what you cannot avoid.

For be sure,

If you cannot avoid It,

Then It,

Exists.

What is more,

It does so for a Reason!

*******

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

A

Back from the Living Dead...

 

 

Okay, so this will sound crazy.

 

I admit all personal experience is subjective, as is the very notion of "crazy", but we will put a pin in that for now.

 

 

Anyway, I already know I am crazy!

 

As the Seal song says "we are never gonna survive all this, unless we get a little bit....crazy."

 

So to be brutally honest it matters little to me in any pragmatic sense whether you think I am crazy or not. I want to survive, so crazy I shall be!

 

If you believe me or not won't affect my sleep any.

 

I do not seek your appproval, only your respect.

 

I am not on this Earth to work out Your salvation, only Mine.

 

However, I really wanted to share this experince with you all, because it has shook me very profoundly.

 

 

My PC is on the blink.

 

It could be when the monitor "fell" on it during the night (Thanks cat!).

 

Or it could be the elephant in the room falling on it everyday, but we won't talk about that.

 

 

Last night I got in quite late for me after having gone to watch "The Hobbit" with a friend (more on that in a future post), I tried to boot up and it wouldn't. Wouldn't get past the POST. I fiddled with it(knowing as I do a little bit about IT), cleaned it and tried again....nothing. Dead.

 

This morning I tried again, twice. Nothing. Dead.

 

Yet here I am, online, blogging away on my computer again. How so?

 

You may well ask......

 

......I took advantage of the piece and quiet, the lack of distractions, the opportunity. I lit a candle. I spent about...15....20...minutes in as deep a meditation as I could allow myself without getting overwhelmed by sensation (some of you will know what I am talking about here.) I then channelled that energy into my PC as I switched it on......

 

......at first I didn't think it had worked as the HDD didn't make any of it's usual noises.

 

In fact it is currently running better and quieter than it has for a while!?

 

I don't suppose it will last, after all, my PC is on the blink.

 

That is the "reality" in front of me.

 

 

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

 

A

We The People Are Speaking!

I know what your eyes see when you look at me.

I know what your mind thinks.

But let me assure you,

I am a Man,

No more,

No less.

"I dare do all that may become a Man,

Who dares do more is none."

*****

You can lie to us,

You can frighten us,

You can blot out the night sky,

With your cloud seeding chemicals.

You can send your uniformed zombies to our front doors,

You can arrest us,

You can incarcerate us.

You can send your zombie assassins to our front doors,

You can torture us,

You can kill us!

Yet if We The People do not consent,

You govern nothing!

(Dedicated to the memory of Emily Davison June4 1913. Your example, your courage, your love for your fellow human beings and for freedom, and truth, will never be forgotten.)

Love Stength and Courage to you all,

A

Back From the Living Dead....

(The REAL zombie Apocalypse!)

Hello to you all.

Well, this time tomorrow it'll be two weeks "clean".

TaDA!

Today I am feeling more like my true self, that exciting and dangerous mixture of "good" and "evil", loving and fearful, pure and corrupted.

I am pleased with myself for getting this far, but I want to make it clear to you all that I am a long long way from being "....out, of the wild wild wood..." just yet.

I honestly cannot recall exactly how many times I have gotten this far before....only then of course to fall flat on my face....and back down the rabbit hole I go.....

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Not this time though.

Not if I find an eighth of the damn stuff in the street, (again!)

Not if a famous user pulls up in a stretch limo, filled with sexy young party animals and a large, full, "hospitality bowl" and invites me in for a ride!

Not even if the Devil Himself offers me a shot of the purest gear in a gold spike, for free (which of course that particular anthropomorphism would never do!)

In fact I state here and now, publicly, that if anyone out there offers me heroin, or opiates of any kind, even out of a SENSE OF MIS-GUIDED FRIENDSHIP, then I may just lose my temper with you a bit! You have been warned.

(Not that me losing my temper is all that scary a thing, well unless you happen to be too close to me at the time that is.)

*******

How can I be so sure though?

After all, if I have messed it up before, then I could mess it up again, right?

Right.

I could, I have that potential, but....

....I don't want to anymore....and....more crucially....

....I don't need to anymore either.

I've plumbed that particular cave now, I know where that rabbit hole goes. I do not need to explore it anymore.

However, there are many other, more interesting, Rabbit Holes in this World, as well more than a few within You, and some of them will take you to EXTRA-ORDINARY places, if you have the wit and the will to take such a Journey...

...and the willingness to let yourself be nailed to a tree for the sake of the Journey you are on....

*******

....As the saying goes, "when you stare into the Abyss, the Abyss stares right back into you!"....

...And I know now what I look like, because I have seen my true reflection.

I have spent so many years sat in that dark place, staring out intensely into the Infinite Void that surrounds me and seeing only one thing, me.

My reflection, staring right back.

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

A

A Loving Message to Our Political Leaders....

Please be patient, please be wise, and do not fear each other. Rather help each other overcome the causes of fear.

I will paraphrase, if I may, a paragraph from a speech given to the people of Cape Town in1960 by Harold Macmillan.

"....In different places it takes different forms, but it is happening everywhere. The wind of change is blowing through this (Globe), and, whether we like it or not, this growth of (Global) Consciousness is a political (and psycho-spiritual) fact, and our (inter-)national policies must take account of it...."

Love Courage and Strength to you all,

A

I am a BIG Tolkien fan you know?

　

I cannot remember exactly how old I was when I first read the Hobbit. (I haven't been to see the film, yet.) However, I do know I wasn't very old.

I also know that it moved me on a level I didn't then really understand, but I did know it enough to go on to read every scrap of Tolkien material I could lay my hands on. I lost count, a long time ago, how many times I have read Lord of the Rings. The number of times I have watched the movies is certainly now catching up!

Which is better?

Well, it depends entirely on if you prefer books or movies. If you prefer to use your own imagination, or let someone guide you in your imaginings.

I like both, and the films are certainly classics of our modern age.

However, when literature is of the quality, scope and majesty of that created by J.R.R.Tolkien, well, there is just no substitute for it; at least as far as I am concerend.

I have come across few modern writers who really challenge the man, although that probaly says more about my inadequate education than anything else.

One such writer I do recommend you look out for if you are a Tolkien fan, is a guy called Tim Severin. His "Viking" trilogy reminded me very much of Tolkien's style, and I certainly fell in love with "Thorgils" by page 8 of the first book, "Odinn's Child"!

Tim writes like Tolkien, but for grown ups!

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The whole story of Middle Earth is a sweeping, epic mythology that has so many Universal Themes running through it that personally, I think only a zombie, or a "golem", would fail to be moved by the tale when it is told well.

The obvious messages to me clearly being that even the little folk can make a big difference, that there are many ways of fighting evil, and war, and that when good and wise people pool their resources and put their minds together, great things will happen, if sacrifices are prepared to be made.

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Then, of course there is the subject of "The One Ring."

I found it fascinating to read an interview with Andy Serkis recently, where he talked about using the attitude and character of a steryotypical "Junky" to get in the right mind set for Gollum.

And he couldn't be more right!

I even have spotted one or two look's from the creature that I could have made myself at one time, especially the scene where Sam is trying to explain to Frodo why they must keep going.....

....."...Because there is some good in this world, and it is worth fighting for..." oh the look on Gollums face when he hears that!

And yet.....what is IT that Gollum, Bilbo, Frodo, Boromir, Denathor, Isildur, Saruman and of course SAURON are all either craving for or hoplessly addicted to?

Power of course.

And that for me is the main message of Tolkiens work. That strength in any form, though it can be a force for good in the right hands, is also a corrupting influence that can do great harms.

That, and that ABSOLUTE POWER is ALWAYS EVIL, WHOEVER'S HANDS IT IS IN!

And, like my hero from childhood, Gandalf the Grey, I have chosen "the way of pain."

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

A