Sick of Addiction

Every Single Moment

Every time I do it I celebrate.

Every single moment that I manage to deny the call

Every moment that I haven't got a cigarette hanging from my lip

Every opportunity to score a hit that I pass by

Every hour, minute, second that I share a room with an open bottle

The clock hands tick time by....

and I'm still not drinking it...

Every time I say “no thanks”

Every party where I do not snort a line

Every lie I do not tell to cover up my lies

Every indiscretion I do not choose to hide,

I celebrate.....

I pat myself on the back,

Puff out my chest and square my shoulders

Throw my head back and laugh at the heavens in joy, gratitude and wonder

Laugh with abandon at the offers and the scorn of those who do not understand

Telling myself “Well Done! You star!”

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You might call it overcompensation for those other moments

Those moments when this sickness gets the best of me

I judge myself a winner overall

A winner on the road to full recovery

Given there are 86400 seconds to each day I count myself a winner still

I have to overcompensate or I will crack open and fall apart

I have to celebrate or I might die of a broken heart

Every single moment.