So I woke up early this morning.....

I woke up early this morning to this intense muscle ache all through my body. Everything hurts. My hand can hardly open a jar, my arms can barely lift the modest weight of a few plates that I take over to the sink. My head is throbbing, my shoulder is stiff and sore with the feeling of some invisible gremlin chewing away at it like a demented thing, feeding off whatever energy I am leaking from that point. I haven't had my full strength in my left arm for quite some time now. I have abdominal pain (lower right hand side) that has become so normal and everyday I hardly notice it anymore, except on mornings like this when it gives me sporadic gyp.

Every bone I ever managed to crack or break in my life starts to hurt me in the cold weather. My right hand is a constant agony this time of year ever since that drunken trippy episode on the tequila and "special" truffles when I felt justified to try and punch my way through a concrete floor - don't ask. The scenario does not cover me in glory, but it did manage to mash up the knuckles and joints of my right hand and wrist pretty effectively.

My right ankle feels weak and swollen. I have to walk with care as I quietly pad through the house in my slippers, careful not to disturb my fellow house-mates and community builders, careful that the ankle doesn't do it's usual trick of giving way on me all of a sudden causing a decrepit fall as my body throws all of it's weight onto the ankle rather than the foot. It does this from time to time ever since that drunken and emotional mixed marshal arts fight I had with a traffic sign all those years ago, and the subsequent five mile hike on a broken ankle too drunk to realise I was doing myself worse damage as I hobbled to relative saftey on it. Needless to say the traffic sign won.

At least my ribs are not bothering me this morning. They tend to wait until it rains a lot. Then they all remind me of my impressive exploits. Twice I have broken two ribs and once I managed to crack a few more. The later was actually a play fight with a mate who turned out to be a lot stronger than I anticipated. A friendly bear hug and crack they went. That hurt, but it was nothing to the time I was pedaling like a maniac through Northampton town whilst coming up on some very strong MDMA and managed not to stop in time to prevent my crashing into the back of a transit van, instinctively trying to turn out of the way at the last second causing the handle bar of my bike to jab me hard in the ribs resulting in two broken ribs and a bruised pancreas. More recently there was also the time, high on life and caffeine, that I managed to land awkwardly onto a metal gate while trying to maneuverer a large gas bottle over it. It was "the ankles revenge" I think as my right foot failed to do what it is supposed to and my body was slammed hard against the metal bar. Two broken ribs that took bloody ages to heal. I suppose it takes longer as you get older.


I don't know why I'm writing all this down here this morning but I suppose it is by way of an observation, namely that I have been a drunken toss pot most of my life and my own worst enemy.

Like a lot of you I find myself constantly amazed and dismayed by the rampant stupidity, selfishness and recklessness of the human species, but I sometimes forget to make the connection with my own self sabotaging and self destructive ways.

Why are we so intent on destroying our planets natural systems like rain-forests and ice caps and natural meadows or ancient woods? Why are we so hooked on fossil fuel energy when we know it is harmful, to us and to our world? Why do we keep earning and spending the currencies our slave masters print off at will when we know it is a worthless and meaningless concept that serves only to keep us all dependent on those same vampric overlords that print the stuff? Why do we kill our brothers and sisters when we know it is wrong to do so? Why do we allow our brothers and sisters to drown in the sea in their thousands without lifting a finger to help, but instead applaud measures such as gun boat patrols and razor wire fences when we know in our hearts we are being less than human when we do?

I'll tell you why.

Because like me we are all addicts.

Addicted either to our material privileges or the sense of superiority or comfort they give us.

Addicted to the oil that warms our houses and fuels our lorries and vans.

Addicted to cheap flights, mobile phones, Hollywood movies, celebrity gossip and Facebook likes (the new TV for a new generation of screen addicts).

Addicted to the convenience of a centralised distribution system for our food and drink that we know is screwing everything up by over packaging everything, over processing everything and wasting most of it.

Addicted to the high carb cereal based diets laced with sugar and chemical additives that we've been raised on, diets that are killing us in our droves either through obesity and heart attacks, depression and suicide or gradual liver failure.

Addicted to the unsustainable farming methods that produce these unsustainable foods, and the unsustainable fossil fuel industry that keeps those unsustainable farming methods going - for now!

Addicted to the money, and the futile and absurd dream it inspires in us that one day we will have enough of the stuff to be happy.

Addicted to the privilege of a relatively safe and peaceful life that we know in our deepest selves is being bought and paid for by the blood of innocents across the seas.

The starving keep us over fed and the indiscriminately murdered keep us safe in our beds. We know it. We know it is wrong. But we are addicted so we cannot stop, and we need help!


So what do we do about this situation? We are going to have to go through one hell of a collective withdrawal process and it won't be fun. The first step is being able to acknowledge the problem for what it is. It's not what "they" are doing, whoever your preferred "them" may be. It is what you and I are doing. It is our addictions and our denial that is the problem. If we can break through that, while creating mutually supportive communities that empower folk to identify and overcome their addictions together, all of them, then we might stand a chance of turning this around.

You game?


Love, Courage and Strength to you all.

(We are going to need it, because the supply lines that maintain our addictions are all about to start withering up, and, like it or not, we are going to be going through our withdrawals together.

I'm going to ponder on that while I enjoy a morning roll up with my morning coffee!)

Politics

I Don't Want to Talk Politics No More

I don't want to, I really don't, I find it such a bore,

The politics, the arguments, the struggle at the core.

I want to discuss fairies, ET's and that thing folk call “God”,

I want to get blind drunk and dance like a silly sod,

I want to rip my clothes off and dive into the sea,

I want to drop some disco biscuits and let everyone love me.

I want to paint my face with hearts and hippie signs,

I want to wear bright colours and extravagant designs,

I want to talk of love and all the meanings of that word,

I want to hear loud rock music with lyrics that are absurd.

I want to sleep with crystals and cats and tarot cards to boot,

I want to get on my knees and ask forgiveness for my next toot...

...But I cannot stop with the politics that are killing everyone,

I cannot stop because I care,

And I see that it's all wrong.

I'd really love to party hard just party on and on,

But the politics

These damnable fucking politics

Are killing everyone.

I'm Stepping Out

I'm Stepping Out

Stepping outside Time, I see the Timeless

Whole - Divine,

I see the senseless delusion of this, that,

yours and mine,

I see that Every Where and Every When

is developing just fine.

........

Looking into futures I see ours as

Blood and Fire,

I see Every One and Every Thing

Burning with Desire,

I see the Devil laughing as He pats Us

on the bum,

I see the Horror, Fear and Fury

of Every Thing to come.

.......

I live and have my Being within this

Field of Time,

Thus I need Faith in Objective Truth

 Timeless Whole - Divine.

Truth....?

Truth Is....

Truth is...

Subjective,

Variable,

Inconsistent with constancy.

Truth is...

Not your point of view,

Neither mine nor theirs,

Somewhere in between.

Truth is...

We are all to blame,

We all do the same,

Hypocritical things.

Truth is...

People are fluid,

Ever changing,

Motives and beliefs.

Truth is...

You, I and everyone,

Have a choice.

Grateful for life,

Or not.

The most profound question

In the Bible

Was asked by the man

With the power to prevent

The crucifixion.

“What is Truth?”

What can you do to protect and preserve your environment?

I want to talk today about the situation in Europe being called a "refugee crisis" by some and a "migrant crisis" by others.

It is true that we are facing a crisis of people displacement on a scale our corner of the world has not seen for a very long time, and it is likely going to get worse before it gets any better.

This crisis is not new. It has been going on for a very long time. Certainly on some level I have been aware of this crisis for most of my life, and in the last few years this awareness has increased alongside my willingness to do something about it.

The crisis we are actually facing is an environmental one.

However, I mean this in an holistic sense of the word.

Because our environment has many aspects and if we are to create a better future for our world and it's diverse denizens then I do not believe we can afford any longer to approach any of the situations and challenges we face in isolation to each other.

The problem is holistic in the sense that it affects every area of our lives, and subverts every nuance of the meaning of our lives.

Our solutions must therefore be holistic also.

The crisis we are facing, and have been facing all of our lives is one of imbalance. We are suffering from an imbalance of our global, societal and internal environments.

Because these are all under attack, and we are in danger on all of these levels of what I perceive to be an irreversible sea change.

There are three interdependent realities we need to recognise in this current paradigm as being under attack.

Number 1) Our ecological environment. The reality of our bio-sphere, our Mother Earth, and all the expressions of life that it has given to the universe, and will continue to sustain for as long as it will be able to.

Number 2) Our cultural environment. The reality of the Fraternity of Humanity and all the creative, altruistic, ingenious and spiritual impulses and ideals that family has expressed, and has the future potential to explore to ever greater and more mystifying depths and heights.

Number 3) Our internal environment. The reality of you, me, every individual. Our internal psycho-spiritual selves. What it means and feels like to be a human being. What it means and feels like to be you, here, now.

And we have to examine and if necessary (as I believe it most urgently is) address the source of this attack on these three realities. And this will be difficult. It will require a willingness to self educate, self examine and where necessary engage in acts of selfless sacrifice. We may need to leave our comfort zones for a while and face some harsh truths as we face up to some hard realities.

There is of course number one, the natural ecological environment of our biosphere. The air we breathe, the water we drink and the land we live on and grow our food in. Environmental issues that stem from over-consumption and anachronistic energy production technology have contributed to the circumstances many of these people are fleeing from. We have created a world where some live in luxury and convenience becoming fat, lazy, greedy and depressed while the rest of Us live in poverty and desperation, facing increasing environmental collapse through water shortages, extreme weather events and a desperate lack of essential life sustaining resources. This has lead to an increase in conflict world-wide, an increase in corruption by corporate and governmental institutions and an increase in people seeking a better life, or even a chance of survival, away from their homelands.

We need to address these issues of course and we need to do it fast, not just for our sake, but for the sake of humanity's future and for the sake of this beautiful repository of life we call Earth.

We all know that at our current level of energy, food and resource consumption/waste this planet simply cannot sustain us for much longer. If we do not address this then the consequences for future generations on this world will be dire. Not hypothetical future generations. I'm talking about YOUR kids, and their kids.

Yet there are also other environmental aspects we need to consider that are equally dire in their implications.

So number two then is the cultural environment of our global community. The fraternity of humanity.

Equally dire is the effect we are collectively having on the future cultural environment they will grow into adults within.

A quick look at wikipedia tells us that “As a defining aspect of what it means to be human, culture is a central concept in anthropology, encompassing the range of phenomena that are transmitted through social learning in human societies.”

So our cultural environment then is essentially what we  teach our children through example. By our actions and behaviours and responses we establish within their young and impressionable minds what it means to be a member of their society, and what is culturally acceptable behaviour. They are busy right now learning from us how to respond to situations like this one.

And what are we teaching them in regard to this current crisis situation of human desperation, human need and human suffering?

That if people suffering do not look like you or talk like you then it isn't as important as the suffering of those that do?

That people from other cultures, with other ways of living, praying, eating, speaking should be always treated with suspicion and as potential threats to your own safety?

That it is enough to click on a Facebook post or send an emoticon to some abstract virtual person and consider yourself active and engaged with the reality of suffering?

That it is okay to do nothing, and at the same time feel depressed about the nothing being done? (But that's also okay because your doctor can always give you pills for that, right? )

Oh what a brave new world theirs would turn out to be!

Do we really want the next generation of people in this world to grow up into adults who think and feel this way?

Do we?

I know I don't, and I strongly suspect none of you do either, or you wouldn't reading my blog.

I would rather see our future generations mature into a truly sustainable cultural environment that values and encourages things like individual freedom of expression, sharing of resources and responsibilities, emotional honesty, generosity, kindness, compassionate courage, and pro-active solution-focused thinking and doing.

What we are currently subjected to is a perversion of what it means to be a self-aware, intelligent and emotional being. We are allowing our cultural environment to be shaped into one where razor wire fences, armed military and militarised police are acceptable and necessary parts of our everyday landscape and existence. An environment where it is “normal” and acceptable to be asked for “papers” whenever you want to travel any distance from your home. A cultural environment where it is acceptable, and indeed “normal” for the suffering and needs of other human beings to be viewed as “just shit that happens” at best, or as a potential threat to the self that must be defended against, or at worst an opportunity for personal gain to be exploited!

Is this what being human means?

I do not want any child being born today or experiencing childhood today in this world to grow up into a global culture where the regular occurrence of bodies washing up in their hundreds on beaches is “just shit that happens”. It isn't. It is a consequence of our actions as a global community and as individuals. It is a consequence of the unacceptable levels of inequality that exist in this world today and has existed for all of our lives and well into the past. It is a consequence of climate change and the effects our convenient lifestyles are having on the southern hemisphere. It is a consequence of globalisation and free markets and the daily relentless feeding of corporate entities that we all engage in every time we purchase a product. It is a consequence of our absurd reliance on fossil fuel energy monopolies and our lack of inventiveness or imagination in breaking free of that dependence. It is a consequence of the normalisation of war, and the implicit agreement, unspoken but expressed in so many ways, that it is perfectly normal, acceptable and indeed necessary for our economic and social stability to not only expect our young men and women to have the career choice of warfare, but to have a whole industry that relies on the profits gained through the sale of weapons of war. It is a consequence. It is not a natural spontaneous occurrence. It could have been prevented. It should have been prevented. We have all known for a long time how unfair, unequal and unkind the balance of resources and opportunities within our world actually is. We could have done more to redress this. We should have done more.

So what do we do now? How do we respond to this?

Well that brings me to number 3. Our internal, or psycho-spiritual environment.

We must not give up hope.

We must not stop believing in a better future.

We have to see it, conceptualise it. Build it in your imagination, just how wondrous an adventure, what a beautiful expression of joyous freedom, what a journey of mystery and discovery our lives on this world could be.

Earth could be such a paradise for humanity. It could be such an amazing place to grow up and grow old, live and die in. We could be a cosmic university. A place of profound learning, self exploration, discovery and realisation. We have the technology and the resources to make it so.

Imagine it how you would like it to be, and then do everything you can think of to make that vision a reality.

Fear will put obstacles in your way.

I do not say you must not be afraid because that is delusional.

We all get scared. I get bloody terrified much of the time in the face of what is happening in our world today, and what is clearly necessary of me to address within my internal environment!

But we must not allow that fear to be our dictator, for that would make us cowards and cowards earn slavery for themselves and for their children.

We must be peaceful and enlightened warriors, who are prepared and willing to step through their own fears and into the realisation of their hopes.

I spent a short time last winter working in the camp at Dunkirk and it did at times seem hopeless. There was a moment back there when I lost my internal and my external smile.

But the community got me through, and one man in particular spelt it out to me very clearly what we were actually doing.

We were in the business of injecting hope. He said to me, “this is not a hopeless situation.”

I personally do not believe in hopeless situations, and I forgot myself there for a moment because the magnitude and horror of what is happening in our world today can be overwhelming, yet I have lots of hope and I see within this situation an opportunity.

The spontaneous response of people who have acted out of a pure desire to help others, without thought of what it may cost or gain themselves, has been most humbling and most inspiring to me.

And it is happening across Europe, not just in France but in Greece, in Italy, in Belgium, in Germany, Hungary,...and not just in Europe but also in Syria, in Turkey in Iraq.

Everyday people with the heart and will, standing up and sticking up for everyday people whose hearts and wills are being broken.

This is creating communities of diverse peoples who are looking for practical ways of living together and surviving together with dignity, love and laughter in the face of their grief, loss and the institutional abuses they are suffering.

This is not happening thanks to the Governments and establishment organisations of our world, it is happening in defiance of them!

People are truly the most beautiful and mysterious creatures and if you go over the channel today and see with your eyes the international community of everyday people, from every walk of life and every social strata, that have spontaneously come together to assist those who have been abandoned and abused by our establishment institutions then I assure you that you too will be humbled and inspired.

We can make a difference, each and every one of us. Whoever we are.

We can challenge the popular narrative of the mainstream media moguls who attempt to pollute our minds and hearts with their lies and half truths every day.

We can do this through their own channels, or through the alternative media of this digital age.

We can do this on the streets, in our homes, in our pubs and cafes, school class rooms and work places.

We can educate ourselves, taking responsibility for our own gathering and analysing of information instead of relying on the same old liars and mouthpieces we call the press.

We can find out, speak out against and boycott those companies and their subsidiaries that are raking in huge profits as a direct result of these peoples suffering, and who have no vested interest in there ever being an end to it. Companies like....

1. 3M
2. 3i-MIND
3. 3VR
4. 3xLOGIC
5. ABB
6. Accenture
7. ACTi Corporation
8. ADT Security Services
9. AeroVironment Inc.
10. Agent Video Intelligence
11. Airbus Defence and Space
12. Alcatel-Lucent (Nokia Group)
13. ALPHAOPEN
14. American Science & Engineering Inc.
15. Anixter
16. Aralia Systems
17. AT&T Inc.
18. Augusta Systems
19. Austal
20. Avigilon Corporation
21. Aware
22. Axis
23. AxxonSoft
24. Ayonix
25. BAE Systems
26. BioEnable Technologies Pvt Ltd
27. BioLink Solutions
28. Boeing
29. Bollinger Shipyards, Inc
30. Bosch Security Systems
31. Bruker Corporation
32. BT
33. Camero
34. Cassidian
35. CelPlan
36. China Security & Surveillance, Inc.
37. Cisco Systems
38. Citilog
39. Cognitec Systems GmbH
40. Computer Network Limited (CNL)
41. Computer Sciences Corporation
42. CrossMatch
43. Diebold
44. DRS Technologies Inc.
45. DVTel
46. Elbit Systems Ltd.
47. Elsag Datamat
48. Emerson Electric
49. Ericsson
50. ESRI
51. FaceFirst
52. Finmeccanica SpA
53. Firetide
54. Fulcrum Biometrics LLC
55. G4S
56. General Atomics Aeronautical Systems Inc.
57. General Dynamics Corporation
58. Getac Technology Corporation
59. Hanwha Techwin
60. Harris Corporation
61. Hewlett Packard Enterprise
62. Hexagon AB
63. Honeywell International Inc.
64. Huawei Technologies Co., Ltd
65. IBM
66. IndigoVision
67. Intel Security
68. IntuVision Inc
69. iOmniscient
70. IPConfigure
71. IPS Intelligent Video Analytics
72. Iris ID Systems, Inc.
73. IriTech Inc.
74. Israel Aerospace Industries Ltd.
75. ISS
76. L-3 Security & Detection Systems
77. Leidos, Inc.
78. Lockheed Martin Corporation
79. MACROSCOP
80. MDS
81. Mer group
82. Milestone Systems A/S
83. Mirasys
84. Motorola Solutions, Inc.
85. National Instruments
86. NEC Corporation
87. NICE Systems
88. Northrop Grumman Corporation
89. Nuance Communications, Inc.
90. ObjectVideo
91. Panasonic Corporation
92. Pelco
93. Pivot3
94. Proximex
95. QinetiQ Limited
96. Rapiscan Systems, Inc.
97. Raytheon
98. Rockwell Collins, Inc.
99. Safran S.A.
100. Salient Sciences
101. Schneider Electric
102. SeeTec
103. Siemens
104. Smart China (Holdings) Limited
105. Smiths Detection Inc.
106. Sony Corp.
107. Speech Technology Center
108. Suprema Inc.
109. Synectics Plc
110. Tandu Technologies & Security Systems Ltd
111. Texas Instruments
112. Textron Inc.
113. Thales Group
114. Total Recall
115. Unisys Corporation
116. Verint
117. Vialogy LLC
118. Vigilant Technology
119. Zhejiang Dahua Technology

...to name just a few examples.

These companies, and others like them, are wringing their hands in anticipation of a rise in the market size of over 240billion USD over the next few years.

While the UK Government makes such absurd statements as “All EU national governments should share the burden [of gatekeeping] and contribute to disrupting the activities and destroying the boats and equipment of criminal elements who are the source of much of the migrant crisis, and who are the only party in this crisis to have gained from the suffering of vulnerable people,” - Home Affairs committee.

Conflict of interests? Yeah, you bet. The UK Government has huge interests in the weapons industry as does the UK monarchy. And this so called “homeland security” industry is simply an extension of that and includes all the usual players we find in corrupt, illegal and morally blind arms deals to states that behave without principle and without accountability to the international community time and time again. States like Israel, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, China and the USA - for example.

We can apply massive pressure on the elected representatives of our system of governance.

Writing letters, emails, starting petitions, joining campaigns, going on marches. It isn't futile. It makes a difference. It is a slow process and a difficult one and it requires people with the courage of their convictions to be willing to challenge the state. Even to risk injury or arrest.

Find out who is active in your locality and approach them. Ask them what they need, what you can do.

There is a useful link here to help you do this.....

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1yYzvKKBqSpuDDG_fPArxFJAvzYLY4vJUUrKQD6g_uKU/edit

We can volunteer our time, if we have no money, or our money if we have no time.

So yes I am appealing to you all today because I need your help with this. I have done a little to help where I could, but I have no resources. I have no money. Even so I am helping to organise and create a long term response to this situation in the name of what it means to be a member of the universal community of sentience. If you want to join our effort you can find us on Facebook. We are called “Just People– Refugee Aid”. Or if you want to explore something more local to you then check the extensive list of organisations on the link above.

Just People need volunteers and supporters who understand the urgency of protecting and preserving our environment.

Just People need volunteers and supporters who are passionate enough and awake enough to put themselves out for the sake of others and for the sake of our worlds future.

Our three environments, ecological, social/cultural, and psycho-spiritual need people willing to look honestly and courageously within their own hearts and ask themselves “what am I not doing to make things better?” Our world needs YOU to do something, right NOW!

We need volunteers to join us on a long term aid mission to Europe, and we need innovative minds who care enough about these three interdependent realities to make the effort to offer that help in as low impact and sustainable a way as we can possibly manage.

We need people who can build, create, entertain, comfort, heal, cook, communicate.

We need people who can fundraise, source resources and effectively upcycle and re-use those resources.

We need people who can improvise and adapt in the face of severe challenges and high pressure situations.

We need voices willing to speak up and support our work, and the work of all the activists and volunteers struggling to do the right thing in a very wrong set of circumstances.

We need people to join us in Europe and we need people to support us here in the UK.

We need compassionate people. We need competent people. We need people who care enough to do something about it.

You may feel like there is nothing you can do. I am here to tell you that this is not true. We can all do something, and collectively all those little “somethings” will add up to a better world, both now and in the future.

Our group is called “Just People”, and that is what I know you surely are. And this is what we need.

You can contact the group through Facebook or by email on justpeopleaid@gmail.com

you can contact me directly on starseed161@gmail.com

Thank you.

What are you waiting for?

Do Not Hesitate To Live

Do not hesitate to live.

Give in to Life and to Life give,

Every ounce of strength,

Every gram of passion,

Every sticky length,

Every far out fashion.

Do not pause to ponder,

If you are allowed or not!

Do not stress or worry,

On what you have or have not got.

Just remember to be grateful,

For every breath you draw,

When Life takes your breath away,

Cry out for more More MORE!

For one day you'll be leaving Us,

That is guaranteed.

So do not hesitate to live,

Is my advice and creed.

To Build Again (another piece of allegorical flash fiction)

As they followed the ageing grey haired Man of the Hill they took in their surroundings and started to realise the scale of what he had built here, tucked in the rocky mountain's feet away from any prying eyes and any obvious resource that would attract too many visitors. It was huge, almost big enough to be called a town in it's own right. Just how this one man had achieved all this, working alone and from what they'd seen of him using only stone tools and his hands.  He clearly must have had access to an energy source that they didn't understand and could not see. The same question seared through all their minds as they gazed around themselves in awe; how was this possible?

"Welcome to my home." He suddenly announced, waving his right arm back in a grandiose gesture of invitation. "Such, as it is." He added.

"I...I..." Geoff stammered.

"Fuckin' wow!" Said Claire, "how did you find this place?"

"Find it? I was told where to come by the visitors." They all slowly turned their gaze towards him as he continued," When the change came to us all. I was visited by some strange folk. I do not know if they were people from another time, or another place. I am not sure that they were even people as we understand the term.

"I had been living in a shelter I'd bashed together out of bits of wood and tent canvas and the like. They arrived in what I can only describe as a craft made from light. Not solid you understand? Not made from matter as we would make something, but made from light. I can think of no other words to describe what I saw.

" They approached me, seven of them in all. They appeared as humanoid figures yet oversized and somewhat overwhelming in their attractiveness. At first I was afraid of them, yet they soon calmed me without recourse to any words, and then they circled around me and each in their turn came forward and placed first a kiss, and then their finger upon my lips.

The friends had now huddled in close and were listening very attentively. This was what they had all come to find, this was the story from the old man himself, the truth about what had happened here.

"In each kiss, " his eyes glazed as he stared, as if into time itself, and recalled the wonder he had felt. The old man continued " I absorbed a great store of knowledge and wisdom that comes from that 'other' place on the far side of the abyss. There are no words adequate to explain what was transferred to me with each kiss from those beings.

"Yet with each finger that they placed," his tone and countenance darkened as he continued his recount of events "I was restrained, limited, forbidden from communicating, transmitting or recording in any form what they had given me. With that knowledge I am permitted to apply - I have begun to build again."

When you stare into the Abyss, the Abyss stares right back into you.

I Looked Into the Abyss and Asked.....

I awoke to the awareness of my own existence.

Marvelled at the infinite forms and manifestations of beauty and horror before and around me.

I heard the clamour and arguments of explanation and found them wanting.

I called out into the Unseen Abyss of the Infinite Mystery,

“What are you?” 

I cried.

*******

My question travelled out into time and space.

For a thousand aeons it reverberated throughout the cosmos,

Caught in the orbit of stars and galaxies for millennia,

Colliding with the debris of long destroyed planets and slingshot free

 Off it went hurtling at trans-dimensional velocity.

Lost within the beauty of nebula for an age beyond counting,

Finding star systems where life thrived,

Mingling and mixing with the forms of intelligence as they emerged from their own primordial slime,

Studying the books and thoughts of countless worlds countless civilisations,

Performed on stages,

Told in jokes,

Discussed in universities,

Fought over in wars,

Bought and sold in markets,

Shared in acts of love and passion,

Witnessed in life and death,

Expressed in the music of the spheres.

*******

Finally....

 After countless lifetimes and incarnations,

I heard with a voice distinctly not my own,

The answer to my question echoed back across the cosmos to my point in time and space,

From the wisdom of the Unseen Abyss of Infinite Mystery.

“WHAT ARE YOU?”

It said.

I Weep

I Weep.

Death stalks our streets, death rains from our skies,

Our home destroyed we've no time to cry.

Weep world, weep those tears,

Of the innocent victims,

Of the Innocent dead,

Whose tears were never shed but swallowed up by dread.

We pilot drones, serve command on high,

Protecting nation is duty no cause to cry.

Weep world, weep those tears,

Of the innocence lost

Of the internal cost

Whose tears were trapped inside by nationalistic pride.

Family taken by waves at sea,

Does the world shed even one tear for me?

Weep world, weep those tears,

That cried from babes

That no one saved

Tears that failed to meet intended ears.

There's no room here and no jobs,

We can't take in all these desperate yobs.

Weep world, weep those tears,

As your souls become corrupted

By creatures thought constructed

Weep for the blood that every dollar costs.

The vampryic over-lords now grinning,

While politicians hands keep wringing,

All the starry heavens are singing....

Weep world, weep those tears,

Every life that calls you home

Every child born of your sphere

How long must they continue weeping here?

What am I grateful for?

The Paradox of Gratitude in a Burning World

It can be difficult to remember to say “thank you” to this Universe.

Living as we do on this little sphere of rock, water and gas in the face of Infinite Mystery can be a tad overwhelming at times.

Watching the suffering of millions unfold before our eyes, feeling frustrated at the machinations of thought forms, and projections of our own shadow, run amok with violent intentions and cruel policies, can be depressing and scary.

Watching myself fail to live up to my own standards time and time again.

Seeing and hearing the fear and hatred in people's hearts and minds, spoken in vicious words and performed through murderous actions.

Feeling deep in the core of my being the pain of our Mother Planet groaning under the strain of sustaining Her unruly children as they make this transition from adolescence to adulthood.

Chemtrails full of noxious dust filling our skies and nobody seeming to know why they are being injected into them, or admitting responsibility for them....am I grateful for that?

Seeing people who are supposed to be the protectors of Truth and Justice and the family of Humanity act in a way that serves only to sabotage the meaning and reality of these ideals....am I grateful for that?

Watching as bodies, in their hundreds, keep washing up on the shores of Europe.....watching as those trained and employed to protect the rights and safety of the people become murderers, with impunity, of black people....seeing the reality of children being bought and sold to serve the unrestrained and perverted desires of people whose predatory instincts are out of control....watching hell-fire being launched and dropped from the skies onto whole cities of people and knowing that behind that display of incendiary magnificence is a world of pain, death and grief....knowing that I am contributing to these things simply by existing within a system of control and manipulation that it seems almost impossible to escape from....can I honestly say I am grateful for these things?

What kind of heartless monster could do so?

A man of faith?

Am I honestly grateful for the personal challenges in my life? Am I grateful for this blight of addiction that has dogged every step of my journey through life, and continues to hold me back from being the creature and creator I know myself to be?

Am I grateful for the pain that courses through my body and soul on a daily basis?

Am I grateful for the amount of effort it takes to convince people to part with a pound to help save lives, when they part with hundreds and thousands every day just to convenience their own, to indulge their desires?

Am I grateful for the loss of relationships with people whom I love?

When I hear that my friends, who have already suffered so much, continue to suffer at the hands of, and be in constant danger from, unreasonable authority and criminal mentality?

Am I grateful?

Difficult isn't it?

Yet I say “Thank You” to That Which Is (whatever you conceive That to be) every day.

Not for the pain of others, or the suffering or death of others. Not for the confusion and emotional turmoil of those I care so deeply about. Not for the pain and struggle of my Mother Planet and Her Children.

I say “Thank You” because I have been given another day in this time and place. Another day to breathe the rare atmosphere of this beautiful world. Another day to enjoy the companionship of the most amazing and mysterious creatures....

I have been given another day in which to shine, and express my heart, and seize every opportunity to make the experience of life both joyous and desirable.

Another day in which to be this “me” that I seem to be. Another day to get it right.

Given the unavoidable fact that one fine morning I won't be here, on this planet, or in this life. One fine day I won't awaken to these apparent realities. A morning will dawn when this mental construct called “Alan” will be over.....

...given these facts, and given this situation in which we find ourselves and the opportunity it presents for us to determine and choose what it means to be a living being in a beautiful and mysterious world....how can I not be grateful?

Love Courage and Strength to you all.

A

xxx